Colormewrite's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘poetry

Addicted to the idea of who we should be-an illusion

Juxtaposition of control and fate

Locked in time ever present

Second hand counting up or down depending on the joy or frown

Like a clown faced monkey we perform to its tock letting it derive at what makes us tick

One hand our creation the other our downfall and the thin line eternally rotating through both

Second by second ascertaining our worth

Put a cog in the wheel and erase your expectation

Find contentment in the absence of containment


Silver bullet locked and loaded

Ink bled magnetic cement

Current on a bed of fiber soaking each utterance before it can breathe

Choking on triumphant hope-invisible cloak of armor

Your touch a fuse-electric-ignites my being

Trail blazing across my cheek

The trigger your thumb

Target my guttural impulses

A silent moan knows no home

Vagrant eternal

This love’s inferno hero

Ghosts in my mind tell me of things long forgotten from a time a part of me can’t forget. A part a person can not hide, even in the fathoms of lifetimes past-a sacred knowledge that is passed from the collective unconscious to the cellular existence…a birthright of souls from light to life. I miss the moist ground beneath my feet, the wind between my toes, sunscreen free sunshine, and berries on the trees. All I see now are their invisible, infinite shadows in a concrete jungle maze. Who are we in this dance of moments when the bell rings, and we race to the schoolyard with untethered abandon. So many bright lights trying to dodge the lamp shades determined to dim them. Vulture, or mouse, choice, or fate-we are all on this dualistic human rite of passage that our souls undertake…hard to tell sometimes which part is bumping around in the carriage and which is driving it. Freedom the restricted wilderness of our state parks, where for a minute you can taste the breath of eternity before closing hours when you return to the breath itself.

Song plays

I close my eyes feel rain the absence of pain

A warmth builds a bridge between the melodic lyrics and my heart’s rhythmic beat

I hold still in the negative entropy

Imploding and exploding, a reordered collapse of the space time continuum

Like an astral projection watching a tantric dreamy dance

The song ends-light changes

Matrix returns to “normal”

I step on the gas somewhere between mechanical and automated transport

To get from here to there..while really aren’t we all already there?

True Self awakening

Freedom Five

Elixir for life

Cat perched

Paws on fire

Silent guffaws answered in soaked laughter

Pushing through tears to transmute fears into faith

Joy and hope its own reward on Kerouac’s road to a detour around suffering

Asphyxiated enough by the diesel in our own engines

Destination irrelevant

Just wanting a journey to smile at

Beatnik dreams

Stillness exudes condensed confidence

A dichotomy of unsettled rest, or centered restlessness

To anchor the two allows a unification in the mirror between them

Revealing true peace



Within their coexistence

*A simply profound realization encapsulated by Lao Tzu, “Search your heart and see the way to do is to be.” 🙂

Winding the corner to a widening perspective

Pinholes of light in darkened peripheral

Tears cascade crumbles of forgotten mud in cracked awakening smiles

Sinew stretches, relaxes, settles

Heartbeat steadies

Breath even

Return to peace if even just a moment

Before turned upside down again

This dance of fate and chance held in arms’ will

A cacophony of wonders running the gamut of emotions

If life be a symphony play on-til no more chords echo in the twists and turns of the marrow of my bones

The window remains

The pane the same

But the view has changed along with her name

What began as a dance now a steadfast stance

Took a chance on romance

Its roots dug deep-grew a child, birthed a family-beautiful fruits of labor

From girl to woman, lover, partner, mother

Not yet old, but feeling time begin to fold

Living in the chasm’s interim

Laughter, tears, worry, joy, fears

Emotions once shuffled like toys, then questioned as ploys, now simply a fluid way of life

Surfing some, wading others

Toe dips, deep plunges, lazy breaths on sunny rocks, gasping for air between undulating knocks

Rhythmic flow in the zone

Alternately joyous, wondering, terrified, and thrown

Blissful sail of peace gives them all momentum, meaning-to a common centered place, a safe space


Home is where the heart is

Maybe home is the heart

When nearer to the end where does one begin and the other end?

Time a tapered ticket taker on the platform of never ending travel

Soul weary or taking flight

Another midnight journey-frightened delight

Wanting only to be near a friend…or the end

Stop on the tracks

Look at the mountains rolling back

Get off and run naked through the blanketed grass-feeling the blades tickle your ass

Laugh without worry or care

Be all that you dare

Stare down the walls-obstacles in disguise-really just opportunities to rise

Travel alone together

Occasionally, or on the regular

Here, there, or anywhere

Just Travel.

I keep his picture clear before me on my desk to see every day. His back turned in free, unfiltered movement-not to exclude, but to explore. A constant reminder for me to hold the space for him, while simultaneously letting him discover his own way. Parenting- the ultimate paradox, a challenging reward of investing so much with no guarantee of return…will the foundation you laid continue to solidify their steps, or will life (and their choices) create cracks upon which they stumble and fall? More importantly, did you prepare them to get up, and continue in faith and trust amidst all the soft and hardened ground? What will you be privy to in their deepest thoughts and experiences, and what will be kept from you, whether or not it should be?

A deeper space in my heart lit up when he was born, one I never knew existed, and one that can now never be extinguished. All I can do, all any of us mothers can do, is accomplish the impossible feat of being a revolving door of security, love, boundaries, and freedom…to always be there as they come and go, with one arm extended to catch, embrace and hold, and the other open wide to let them go out again on the other side.


March 2023


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