Colormewrite's Blog

I know we are all supposed to be PC these days, but sometimes the real deal feelings need to flow like colors on a canvas because there is no other way to express the depth without a full palette. The light and dark together can make such a beautiful, more fulfilling tapestry-even if only in their collision and juxtaposition. HA! Got ya! You thought I was going to be PC and wax poetic about how it will all work out, even when it seems like it can’t, or won’t. No, sometimes it doesn’t work out (or not right away), no matter what, for whatever higher reason/purpose we may never know or understand. In those instances we must rely on our faith, resilience, and the way in which we respond and move forward to create a better outcome. Now you see it, I am truly an eternal optimist who has had to make peace with the Mother of all human existence-Reality.

In a recent move across the country (much different in your realigned priorities/necessities of the later 40’s, with a family by the way, than it is in you 20’s, “I can make it work, or figure it out later” phase) we were met with much ease, bliss, synchronicity, and grace….and, then met with as much unexpected challenge, disappointment, and interfering delays/obstacles. It prompted me to ask myself in the bathroom, where many epiphanies arise, “Is necessity really the mother of all invention, or does it just kick your butt to the dirt, watch you try everything to get back up, then give you wings just before you give up to watch you fly your anchored feet out of the mud?”. As with most things, age and experience brought a fun, new tool to the table in this moment-Acceptance. I realized my previous, younger, mode of freaking out, panicking, being impatient, and demanding would not only not work and upset all involved, but also wouldn’t solve the problem-worse yet, it would show my child the wrong example of how to handle adversity. When something does not work out for us, especially if it is out of our control, we do our part above and beyond, then accept, let go and let God.

I don’t think people need to, or should, suffer to grow, but for whatever reason we do suffer, and we do grow. We all want and deserve joy, and thankfully, there is usually more of it than sorrow (again partly perspective and experience). Yet, there is also the dark that can creep across the light when you least expect it. So, I guess one of the skills we must master, or always fight against, is how to include the dark (however unwelcome) on our canvas, without it completely blotting out the lighter colors of our grand design. If our family can make it through normal life, a bizarre pandemic, my husband’s cancer battle, a mixed bag move across country, and still find a reason to get up and smile-then it can’t be that bad, and is hopefully about to get a lot better. So in closing, persevere, choose to see the light even through the dark, and for God’s sake never stop painting!